Are You the Shooter?
Sunday, September 30, 2007 at 10:33AM 
Before her initial interview, often during her first phone call, she’ll ask if I’m the shooter, if I’m the person behind the camera. It’s the type of question that must have prompted Deborah Tannen to write in You Just Don’t Understand, “Many men honestly do not know what women want, and women honestly do not know why men find what they want so hard to comprehend and deliver.”
But comprehending and delivering the answer to the real question here begins the essential work of creating the partnership I wrote about earlier.
She may have heard we’re a husband and wife team and wonders if Patty is the shooter—perhaps hopes. Making the call liberates her, excites her, too. Beneath the surface, though, lies a layer both shy and apprehensive that wants to know the person who’s going to see her and how she’ll be cared for.
I could not be a boudoir photographer without caring for women, loving them, actually—no one could, really. I love women, not as a womanizer, of course, but as someone deeply committed to understanding their unique feelings: the way they feel about their privacy and independence, their appearance, and their desire, at any age, to be sexually vibrant and desirable. These feelings stand guard over her as we begin the conversation, a conversation that may last a few minutes or a few months. Whatever she decides will be based on trust. With this work, the enormity of that trust can never be ignored.
“Are you the shooter?” she asks.
“Yes, I am. And may I tell you a few things about me? I could not be a boudoir photographer without caring for women…, and my wife, Patty, and I will take care of you every step of the way.”
PS: Today’s image: Cristie on the Bed.
Cristie, The Conversation
Reader Comments (5)
Really interesting. I just started doing a sort of boudoir photography for friends, and I'll be keeping a close eye on your blog.
Wonderfully well put. My wife usually works with me on our boudoir sessions, too. That question comes into play on occasion with us, "Who will be taking the pictures?"
Many photographers (female) will play up the idea that their clients will be more comfortable with a woman as their boudoir photographer. I'm sure this is true in some cases, but it's obviously not the rule.
I feel very strongly that the right male photographer, with a sensitivity for what women want, an understanding of what their partners want (many of the photographs are also gifts for him), and the integrity to bring it all together in a fun and non-intimidating way are much more important than the gender of the photographer.
Must be how we're brought up, but I've always had a deep care and respect for women. It's not hard to see beauty in almost all of them. It looks like you feel that way, too. That's why you're so good at what you do!
Looking forward to reading every bit you write. You certainly seem to have an understanding with communications and the feelings of women.
While I have never shot Boudoir except of my wonderful assistant like your own, it is always nice to lean just in case your services are ever needed.
Thanks
ed verosky wrote:
Many photographers (female) will play up the idea that their clients will be more comfortable with a woman as their boudoir photographer. I'm sure this is true in some cases, but it's obviously not the rule.
Well, I wasn't going to write about this topic for a while, but your comment changed my plans.
Thanks for joining the conversation.
fastpitch17 wrote:
While I have never shot Boudoir except of my wonderful assistant like your own...
I consider mine my most valuable asset!