Should It Be a Surprise?

A married woman asking this question wants to know if she should seek her husband’s approval or encouragement before presenting him with a visual treat: a gift of beautiful, erotic images of herself for his eyes only. Some husbands, anticipating the results, will give their encouragement easily and swiftly; others, anticipating the process, will only hear, “Honey, I’m thinking of having a stranger take sexy, naked pictures of me.” If the latter, the possibility of boudoir photography will be pretty slim.

So, what to do? Keep it a surprise, or not? Perhaps the only way to answer that question is to know this: If he had the gift in his hands today, would he like it? I’ll tell you how two women we know dealt with this question.

Joan (not her real name) worked at our local gym—the one Patty and I use. This quiet young women surprised me one day by asking about boudoir photography. As it turned out, she’d visited my website and wanted to know more. After asking a few questions and looking over my portfolio, she exclaimed: “I really, really want to do this for my husband—he’ll love it; it’s going to be such a wonderful surprise!”

So, we made the arrangements, did the client interview, and shot the test. Then, just before the shoot, Joan called and tearfully told us she’d surprised her husband earlier than planned and needed to postpone—“just until he can meet you.” A meeting (and a photo shoot) that never happened.

Now, compare Joan’s scenario with Kristin’s.

Kristin was equally excited about the surprise she was planning for her 10th anniversary: beautiful, erotic images of herself set to music on a DVD for her husband’s eyes only. She planned well, worked hard, and put on a stellar performance. In her words: “My husband was completely blown away with the DVD—telling me it was an amazing and unique gift and that he was honored I would do this for him. He described the DVD as sexy, seductive, and tasteful.”

Kristin knew her husband would love the gift, and she kept it a surprise. Joan knew her husband would love his, too, but she decided to ask him for approval or encouragement, which he failed to give her, effectively ending her boudoir photography plans.

So, what’s the moral of the story? Should a married woman keep it a surprise? I don’t know. But I do know that all of the surprise gifts we’ve been party to were received with enthusiasm and love and today are cherished as lifelong memories.

PS: Today’s image: Woman in Blue—the one who kept a surprise a surprise—and you can read more of her story on our References here page.