How to Mitigate Scars Using a Mask and the Spot Healing Brush

As many of you know, I teach a series of classes focusing on the photography of women. In the Photoshop class, I’ve begun to augment my live-only presentation with a series of screencast videos explaining the core concepts. Why? So I know for sure that none of those core concepts were missed! Moreover, I can give the students access to these videos for some period of time after the class, thereby enhancing their learning experience. The accompanying video is an example. It begins…

If you’ve read some of the early posts on my blog then you know that most of our clients are women who’ve been married several years, have had one or more children, and in many cases have elected to have cosmetic surgery. As a result, they’re often left with scars. And in almost every case, they want me to either eliminate, or at the very least, mitigate those scars in the final photograph. So over time, I’ve had to develop simple yet effective ways for doing this. I’d like to share one with you today.

Why Blogging Is Important for Boudoir Photographers... or Is It?

Boudoir photographs are by their very nature intimate and revealing, and therefore they are sexually provocative. Deciding you want them of yourself has been described to me as… exciting, exhilarating, liberating, and even life-changing. But for many, those feelings quickly turn to apprehension and anxiety as they ponder the reality of actually doing it. Some proceed, more do not, and that equates to fewer clients for my boudoir photography business.

So, what is it that stops a woman from moving beyond that initial decision to actually fulfilling her desire? In my experience it is unanswered questions. And without answers that satisfy her, nothing more will happen. The challenge, then, is anticipating those questions and providing a way for her to find the answers. That’s why I write many of the blog articles I do. But until recently, I didn’t fully understand how important they can be—especially in answering those difficult-for-her-to-ask questions that more often than not remain unasked… and, if left unanswered, become show-stoppers.

A couple of weeks ago, I received an email from an engaging young woman asking about boudoir photography. There were, of course, the usual questions about location, price, and product, but what was most interesting to me was that she had navigated beyond the galleries and was reading my articles.

After several email exchanges and a telephone conversation, she decided to become a client. And given that she lives and works in a different part of the country, this was no small decision. So I asked what motivated her to choose us. Was it our work? The products we offered? Well, they counted, of course, but no, they weren’t what made the difference. For her, it was the blog articles. She wrote, “I think those blogs are wonderful because it does let us know who you are as a person and your attitude towards your work/life.”

Those blog articles answered her unasked questions and helped her feel connected to us in a way that would have been otherwise impossible. But how important were those articles to her in making the decision to become a client? And had my only online presence been a gallery or blog that failed to address those difficult questions, would she have been at all interested in our services? I asked and here is her answer:

As for your question, your blogs were VERY important when making my decision. I emailed a handful of people whose galleries I liked (tastefully done, looked authentic, and the models were non-professional). You are the only one who is not located within driving distance (and the only male photographer). The big reason why I contacted you (despite the distance) was your blog; I really felt that you “understood” my needs!! I contacted the others because they were in my area.

Another thing I should add is that I felt comfortable contacting you because of your blog article, “Is Gender Important?” I didn’t come across many male boudoir photographers, but all of those things you mention in your blog are definitely questions that cross one’s mind. In your blog, you convinced me that there is a benefit in going to a male photographer (I completely agree with your article), but I did wonder about the attitudes of other male photographers who don’t address that issue head on. So, I chose you because you were the one who actually addressed it.

For boudoir photographers, or any photographer doing intimate work for private clients, the lesson here isn’t that blogging per se is important, it’s that what you blog about is very important. It will set you apart.

Today’s Image: Rose

If you enjoyed this article, please don’t forget to post it on Twitter, and follow the Boudoir Photographer. Thank you.

The Temporary Pass

I teach a class entitled The Intimate Female Portrait. It focuses on the client-photographer relationship as it evolves from the initial interview through the photo shoot. At the beginning of each class, I ask the attendees what they want most to learn. The consensus so far? They want to know how I interact with a private client or someone new to modeling—how I move beyond a conventional portrait to something more intimate, something more sexual.

Good question. Look, asking a woman to tilt her head is decidedly different from asking her to unbutton her top or remove it altogether. And that alone is not nearly enough: At the same time as she performs this act of exhibitionism, she must show the camera how much she’s relishing it.

When I’m successful at directing her to do these things, it’s because I’ve forged a relationship with her not possible in a single meeting. That’s why the in-and-out portrait studio business model doesn’t work for intimate/boudoir photography. Believing that someone you’ve just met—someone who has never done this before—will or can step in front of your camera and perform in this manner is not only wishful thinking but also costly (think re-shoots at your expense). There are exceptions, of course, but they are just that: exceptions. So make sure your business model includes some relationship-building time.

How can I describe this relationship? It is a temporary pass based on trust and issued by the client. In the case of a private client who has come to us for a “his-eyes-only” gift, the pass allows her to be an exhibitionist for a surrogate, and that surrogate is me and my camera. And the trust? Well, she’s trusting that the images we produce will have the desired results.

The all-important thing to remember about the pass is this: For it to work, it is she who must issue it.

How do she and I build this relationship? I wish I could give you a link to my one-size-fits-all formulaic approach, but no such approach exists. I have, however, come to understand the two essential elements. First, she must determine whether she can do this—be an exhibitionist for the length of time necessary for the photo shoot. And second, she must determine whether she can do this in front of me and my camera.

These are her decisions, making it pointless to attempt persuasion of any kind. So, what’s my role at this point? It is to be an open and observant guide. We begin, she and I, by looking at prints from previous photo shoots, some of them before & after shots. By observing her reactions to these images, I can answer her unasked questions, allowing her to know me better, to understand how—if she chooses—we will work together, and how I’ll help her achieve her goal.

If we’ve made sufficient progress, I’ll do a brief photo test, nothing fancy, perhaps available light by an open window or one light and a reflector. I may show her how to stand or sit, how to move her head or form her mouth, I may have her unbutton her blouse or put on one of our posing robes and then drop it off her shoulders. If she’s brought some lingerie for me to see, I’ll ask her to try it on. If she has an image in mind, we might try it. Whatever we do, the goal is the same: I want her to learn to have fun following directions in front of my camera, because if she can do that, she’ll be able to achieve the level of exhibitionism required for a successful shoot.

I’m frequently asked if I ever forego any of this for a new client and go directly to the photo shoot, you know, to save time or money. No. Never.

I’m also asked, and even more frequently, what I do when a shy, very shy, woman comes to us for boudoir photography? I’ll write about that in my next article.

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Today’s image: Danielle, having fun.

You lightened my load... thank you

It has been two weeks since my daughter’s death. Two weeks made bearable by hundreds of well-wishers: blog comments, emails, text messages, voice mails, cards, and letters as well as many hugs and tears. As part of my support group, you lightened my load and made the road easier for me travel. And for that, I am very, very grateful.

Part of that travel was a magic carpet ride back in time—a ride made possible, of course, by all of the photographs I took of Elizabeth over the years. I am so grateful for them now; they evoke many wonderful memories.

The slide show I made from a few of those photographs was a labor of love that allowed me to work through my own grief. Since I posted it, it has been viewed more than a thousand times. Many of those viewers were Elizabeth’s friends, people I never knew, who took the time to share with me what they felt and what they will remember about her. Their memories are now intermingled with my own, adding a richness I wouldn’t have otherwise known.

Again, to all of you, thank you. And never be too busy to take out the camera when your loved ones are near.

Farewell sweet child, farewell...

[The slide show has been moved here]

My daughter, Elizabeth. A beautiful child and a beautiful woman—a woman who radiated warmth, love, and inspiration. I saw her just last spring, when she surprised us with a visit from the East Coast. I cling to that memory now because there will be no more.

Last week my son called with wrenching news—the kind of news a parent never wants to hear, the kind of news that tears at your heart and twists your stomach: Elizabeth had suffered a stroke and was in intensive care. She seemed to improve a bit over the next few days, but on Friday, things went horribly wrong and she fell into a coma. Within 24 hours all brain function had ceased, and by Sunday morning, she was gone.

Gone. I have repeated that word so many times I have lost count, yet I remain unable to grasp its ultimate meaning: that I will never again be able to call her, or to tell her I love her; that I will never again be able to see her, or to hug her; that my last photograph of her is the last one I will ever be able to make.

It is all too unimaginable and all too unimaginably painful.

Elizabeth is survived by her mother, brother, grandmother, cousins, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles, countless friends, and by me and Patty. All of us will remember her warm, loving, and inspiring ways for the rest of our lives.